You scumbag you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot..

So it has been a while.. with Christmas in full swing taking over one whole month of the year with manic shoppers, crazy women charging like bulls with prams and hoards of grandma's filling up Sainsbury's 24/7 fighting over the last tub of sour cream Pringles...

Empty shelves everywhere.. you know because the shops are closed for one WHOLE day and god only knows what would happen if you ran out of cranberry sauce.. despite the 5 (spare) jars stashed away in the cupboard..

I have concluded that Christmas makes people insane.

Anyway it turns out Santa did not bring me One Direction for Christmas, apparently Louis says I'm too old, and Harry says I'm not old enough.
Next year I am wishing for crows feet like Caroline Flack.

Instead he brought me a great big HANGOVER..
And the memories of calling my Dad at 1.13am to see if he knew our taxi driver (I want to say Steve..?) after he kindly took us for chips and battered sausage..
Which I might add did make a lovely reappearance back up again #allaboard #chunderexpress

I blame the cocktails for waking up at midday Christmas day.. Still drunk.

WINNING.

Merry Christmas your arse, I pray God it's our last..

xoxo