Crackwhore Carrie 'Bad'shaw.

The awkward moment when you stroll around in public looking like a crackwhore.

Re-living a Carrie Bradshaw 'Single and Fabulous?' moment.. when the hot guy see's you in your not so finest moment.

Lesson 1:
A sly trip to the local shop for some hangover munch should NEVER be done without makeup.

Lesson Learnt.

xoxo

Here Comes The Bride..

The Boxing day ball turned into a bridal shower when my lovely friend H fashioned this hub cap halo on the long stumble home from a champagne and fur filled lash.
The reception banquet was free pizza all round as the local kebab shop caterers 'forgot' to charge..

WeddingDayWin.

The blushing bride herself.. 

with just a hint of evidence left in the morning..

The husband to be is a lucky guy!!

Happy Boxing lash, 

yet another day with an excuse for drinking.

xoxo

You scumbag you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot..

So it has been a while.. with Christmas in full swing taking over one whole month of the year with manic shoppers, crazy women charging like bulls with prams and hoards of grandma's filling up Sainsbury's 24/7 fighting over the last tub of sour cream Pringles...

Empty shelves everywhere.. you know because the shops are closed for one WHOLE day and god only knows what would happen if you ran out of cranberry sauce.. despite the 5 (spare) jars stashed away in the cupboard..

I have concluded that Christmas makes people insane.

Anyway it turns out Santa did not bring me One Direction for Christmas, apparently Louis says I'm too old, and Harry says I'm not old enough.
Next year I am wishing for crows feet like Caroline Flack.

Instead he brought me a great big HANGOVER..
And the memories of calling my Dad at 1.13am to see if he knew our taxi driver (I want to say Steve..?) after he kindly took us for chips and battered sausage..
Which I might add did make a lovely reappearance back up again #allaboard #chunderexpress

I blame the cocktails for waking up at midday Christmas day.. Still drunk.

WINNING.

Merry Christmas your arse, I pray God it's our last..

xoxo

The awkward moment when M tries to preach that rugby girls aren't all lesbians...

xoxo

Girls and their Pearls.

So today happens to be the anniversary of my b-e-a-utiful friend A's birth.
In our first year of uni she received quite a memorable birthday treat in the form of a cheeky 'pearl necklace'...

(Those of you new to this phrase may want to have a check of urban dictionary.. If you don't know what urban dictionary is I suggest you probably won't want to read the rest of this blog..)

Anyway along came second year, and as A opened her precious 21st gifts from her loving family, she unwrapped.. yep you guessed it.. the family pearl necklace.. Textbook awkward moment right there.. Try explaining that one to the Grandparents.

So, this year Phwoar, as you are far far away from us on your Birthday I am sending you a pearl necklace to let you know we love and miss you (or if I'm truthful just your mahoosive boobs)

May the pearl tradition live on!!

Ps. My gift idea for next year of pearl nipple tassels may be short-lived, as we all know in your old age gravity will take it's toll on those bad boys..

Do your boobs hang lowwwwww, Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow??
We all know I can. Grandma.

xoxo

Harvey Nic's - Upgrading the walk of shame since 1813.

After watching this 2011 Christmas ad for Harvey Nic's, I have come to the conclusion that a store is required along Cowley Road to brighten up those predictable, yet hilarious Thursday mornings post Fuzzy Ducks...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwxTf7NGVXg

Spot on promo for all the sluts of the world!!
Boom ting.

Who said that trackies and heels could only be pulled off by 
Lady Sov anyway??






Ps. For a brief education into the 'night' that is Oxford's Fuzzy Ducks every Wednesday.. See below..
Be warned - it's not for the faint hearted.
Enjoy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueIyWjKnvSQ

xoxo

My second favourite D&G.

I remember in my school days (yes ALL those years ago) how I lived my life by the rules of David and Goliath ®

#lifetheories

Dedicated to my fave Frenchy G.. take note beebs!

Many thanks for your expert advice D&G!

xoxo

Boyfriend season?!

With the depths of December upon us, and Christmas time (SO much food and wine) just 3 weeks away.. Winter is truly in our midst.

I love living in the country during the festive season.. roaring log fires, a glass of mulled wine, presents under the tree and cosying up to chick flicks on TV.. but why does it feel that something is missing..?

This is what I like to call 'Boyfriend Season'..

Every girl feels lonely on those cold winter nights, and lets face it a big spoon is defo a better version of a hot water bottle!!
(Minus the early morning friend poking you in the back ofc...)

However I had to give my head a wiggle at this thought, as being the ice queen I am, the only accessory I need this winter is a fur scarf and designer handbag.
My cotching and snugs are saved for my BFF and partner in crime J.

Love you sill! Frigid for lyfe.

Ps. Yes that is me, jus chillin on my throne. #bitchin

 xoxo

xoxo

The Awkward Wink.

Is it just me, or do winky faces on Twitter, Facebook, BBM and Txts make you feel awkward.

Massive cringe alert right there......      ;)

Never a fan of PDA's....

The only exception I make is my mum;

I'm not sure she's quite aware what the face means..

With reference to the usage of LOL, I still presume her definition is 'love you lots'.. unless she finds my dilemma's and moaning highly hilarious.. possible?

Serial winkers..
You have been warned.

xoxo

No-more-vember.

In the excitement of opening advent calenders (CHOCOLATE!!), I completely forgot that today was FINALLY the end of paedophile season.

Yessss I know it's all for a good cause, but we cannot deny that November is an entire month of every hot guy turning into Britain's MOST WANTED criminal look-a-like.

Defo time for celebration that the world is giving us back pretty boy clean shaven faces!!! Beaut.


Although I do think the Queens effort is one to be highly commended.
LAD.

xoxo